Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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