wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
