the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You pole danced in your parka.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
