Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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