I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
