this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
