there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
