What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
