At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
