tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
