We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
