Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
