she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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