I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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