should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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