woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
