Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
