I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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