so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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