Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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