i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
