yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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