Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
