I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
