and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
