I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
