I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
