I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's just so happy...and so naked.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
