We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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