Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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