just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
