Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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