there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
