Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
