woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
