ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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