Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
