Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize