Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
