I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize