I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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