Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
