You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
