I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
