There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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