Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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