How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
