Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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