i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
