I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
MIDGETS
????
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
