awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
