New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
