She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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