they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
