He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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