I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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