So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
