dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
