You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
