Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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