Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
