Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You are a genius and a whore.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
