now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
