1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
